Baby dolls and Stubborn hearts

Have you ever see this kind of baby doll? They are called "water babies" and are made to feel like real babies. They are made with a plug in their back and come with a funnel to help siphon the water. (And instructions to change out the water. Whoops.)  Ruby got one for her first birthday. I was shocked to see they still made them. I vividly remember begging for one for Christmas when I was 7 years old. I also distinctly recall watching my momma struggle to fill that baby doll Christmas morning 26 years ago. I now feel her pain. You see it's really easy at first because the water flows into the baby's belly. Then you realize you have to work to get it to fill the baby's extremities. The plastic is inflexible and unbendable. It's quite a task to fill her up adequately. Ruby's doll may, in fact, be only partially filled. Her mom is clearly not as determined as mine was.

Sometimes I feel like that's how I am when I pray and ask His spirit to fill me. Inflexible and unbendable. I cry out to God begging him to make me more like Christ and he does. I feel His power transforming me but then there are those parts that I hold too close. The places in me that are inflexible and unbendable. I easily allow God to change, mold, and fill the majority of me. But what about the rest of me? Like Ruby's baby's limp arms and legs are the areas in my life that I try to control. Yet really- they control me.

I can readily identify these areas where I need more Jesus and less Amy. My pride. My worry. My doubt.

Satan wants to consume our minds. He wants to gain control over our thoughts. He wants me to believe I should care how the world views me, overthink and agonize over the what-ifs of life, and question whether I will ever be enough.

I am so thankful I serve a God who is bigger than unbendable plastic and stubborn hearts. A Savior who can enter and transform even the deepest most selfish parts of me. All we have to do is ask and soften those areas. It's difficult to change. To be humble and not prideful. To trust and not worry. To find your identity in the God of the universe and not social media. He wants our everything, not just the things we prefer to hand over. All of us. Every ounce. Every thought.

"... In that day it will be said to Jerusalem: "Do not be afraid, O Zion; Do not let your hands fall LIMP. The Lord your God is in your midst. A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy. He will be quiet in His love. He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy." Zephaniah 3:17