More mercy

Just like you can't run your first mile today and expect to run a marathon tomorrow, you can't expect to become an expert at this motherhood thing overnight. When they handed me my first baby boy, I was clueless.  I did not know how to breastfeed a baby, burp a baby, or even change a baby! I had no idea how to take care of a newborn. All I knew is that I loved him with every ounce of my being and would do absolutely anything to make sure his needs were met. Within minutes of becoming a mother I began the process of learning how to mother. With time I mastered the art of nursing, patting Manning's in just the right way to produce the best burp, and even changing a diaper (without getting a surprise shower!) However, I still have so much to learn. I still mess up everyday. Even after having 3 babies, there are still days I feel completely, impossibly clueless. Not about meeting their physical needs. I am a pro at holding a baby, fixing a drink, and applying a band-aid to a non-existent boo-boo all at the same time.

It's the emotional needs that leave me doubting my mothering abilities. The times when they misbehave and I am at a loss as to the best way to discipline. The times when they need more love and less lecture. The times when I am thankful I serve a God of 2nd (and 3rd, 4th, and 100th) chances. Lately, I have found myself evaluating some of my current practices and changing some of my ways.

I am trying to become more of a "yes" mom. Attempting to say yes more than I say no. Trying to include my boys in every activity, even if it makes things a little more messier and a lot more time- consuming. Trying to play more and offer more fun surprises. Yes, we can go to the park (even though there are 92 loads of laundry to do, dishes in the sink, and countless other things that need to be done.)

I am trying to give more grace and mercy. They mess up. They sin. They make poor choices. So do I. Just as God gives us chance after chance, my children deserve 2nd chances too. There are times that I know they are truly sorry. They understand that they have made a mistake and need my forgiveness (but not discipline necessarily.)  I am praying that God will reveal to me when discipline is needed. I struggle with the a lot. I know our children need us to guide and shape them. I know that discipline is an essential part of parenting. However, I also know that there are not always consequences for my sins. Sometimes, of course, I have to face the music that comes with disobeying God's law.

My friends, mothering (parenting) is not a walk in the park. It's hard. It's a messy. It will make you cry. But laugh more. Because there is absolutely nothing (outside of being a child of the KING) that is better. It's a blessing, my calling, God's will for me.