Remembering Ruby

In the early morning hours of April 14, 2006, Good Friday, I held my momma's hand as she took her last breath and went to be with Jesus. That Easter Sunday, we all went to church and then we buried my sweet momma. It is so easy for me to be overwhelmed with grief during this time of year. However, how can I be sad? My Savior is ALIVE and my momma is in heaven celebrating Easter with HIM. What could be better than Easter in heaven?
Mom has been dead for 5 years now. There are days that I feel like she has been gone forever and then other days I feel like she was just here. As the time has passed, I have tried to keep her memory alive. I focus on remembering how her voice sounded, how her hands looked, and how her arms felt wrapped around me. Everytime I walked into my parent's house, she would say, "Hey, baby!" I love that. She and my daddy always held hands even though they had been married almost 32 years. I used to love to be riding in the backseat and look up to see my momma's fingers intertwined in my daddy's. I miss that. Several weeks or maybe days...it's all a blur now....before my momma died, I distinctly remember crawling into her bed and her holding me. Her tiny arms engulfing me. I long for that. Just one more time. To hear her voice, see her hands, feel her warmth.
Momma was so special to me, but also to many others. She was a Christian, a fighter, a wife, mother, friend, animal lover.

• Above all, my mother was a Christian. She loved God and was steadfast in her faith even in the face of disease and death. That last day of her life, Maundy Thursday, she asked for her Bible and for us to pray with her. Just hours before her death, my momma prayed for us.


• My momma loved and she loved deeply and unconditionally. There was NEVER a time that I doubted her love for me or my daddy. She maintained relationships. Most all of her friends had been in her life for decades and she believed in family.


• My momma loved life. She loved to smile and rarely met a stranger.

I found her dying wishes after her funeral when I was sorting her clothes. She wanted this song played at her funeral:

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero

I am stong and wise and I have no fear

But the truth is plain to see

She was sent to rescue me

I see who I want to be

In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal

Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace

This miracle God gave to him gives me strength when I'm weak

I find reason to believe in my daughter's eyes.

And when she wraps her hand around my finger

It puts a smile in my heart

Everything becomes a little clearer

I realize what life is all about

It's hanging on when your heart has had enough

It's giving more when you feel like giving up

I've seen the light

It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future

A reflection of who I am and what will be

And though she'll grow and someday leave

Maybe raise a family

When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me

For I'll be there in my daughter's eyes.

I hope others see her when they look in my eyes. We miss you, Ruby!