Tough Questions

8 months pregnant with Manning

If you live in Florence and have driven through the stoplight at the intersection of Irby and 2nd Loop, you have no doubt seen the sweet elderly couple that walks the sidewalk beside Hardees. They wear babydolls strapped to their chest, push strollers filled with life-like dolls, and carry signs that read,"Stop Abortion Now." I always smile and nod when I see them. I assume judging by the sheer number of carseats in my van they can see that I share their beliefs. I am not certain as to the effectiveness of their method, but at least they are doing SOMETHING!

8 months pregnant with Myers

Last week was like any other, however, this time my boys were with me and I know my boys. I see the couple, I hold my breath as we sit in the center lane. Maybe they won't notice them since there is another lane of cars separating us. No chance. From the very back seat I hear, "Momma, why are those people carrying baby dolls?" I take a deep "Help me, Jesus" sigh and in the most pre-school manner explained to my 3 and 4 year old what abortion is. They were silent in disbelief. As the light changed and we drove off, Manning questioned, "Momma, people do that in our world?"
I answered: "Yes, baby. They do it in our world and even in our town."
Again, my response was met with silence. They are so innocent. I hate exposing them to the sin in the world. However, I can't lie and hide the truth.
We continued towards home and I prayed they would move on to a new topic. Nope.
Manning comments: "I am glad you didn't do that [have an abortion.] Because I would be dead now."
I blinked back tears and responded, "Sweetheart, I would have Never done that. First of all, the Bibe tells us that abortion is murder and murder is ALWAYS wrong. Secondly, Daddy and I wanted you and your brothers with every ounce of our beings."
Myers finally speaks up, "When people die they go to heaven." Things keep getting deeper and I am beginning to wonder if I should have changed the subject when they started the questioning. Then Manning said something that made all the uneasiness of this conversation worthwhile, "I don't think people who have abortions have a Bible. I think we should give them all one." With gooscbumps, I answered,
"You are right. So very right."
Thank you, God, for these sweet boys and their understanding and desire for YOU. I pray that as they inevidently see more sin in this world, they will meet it with the same faith.

7 months pregnant with McCann

Two posts in one week....

God sure uses these little people in my world to teach me things. Myers turned 3 on April 14th and he is officially a "big boy." He demands independence and prefers to do everything himself. Kevin and I are learning to allow him to master the majority of things on his own. However, he still needs guidance. He needs our help and our supervison. 99% of the time he is willing to let us assist him. He brushes his teeth and then we help. He dresses himself and then we tie his shoes. Then there is the 1% of the time that he absolutely does not want our help. This tiny portion of time ALWAYS occurs in the car getting into his seat. He so badly wants to buckle himself into his carseat without any guidance from us. At three, he doesn't understand the ramfications of not being fastened correctly. We do and we want him to be as safe as possible. Enter 29 pounds of  fury. Legs kicking, arms swatting, screaming, yelling, crying. All just because we want what's best for him.
Today, as I battled the beast of  Myers and the carseat. God got my attention. "Amy, do you not act the exact same way in your own life?" I know I need God's direction and I know He is in control. He is the Alpha and Omega, beginning and end. He knows and wants what is best for me. I am completely aware of this and in most areas I readily relinquish control to Him. Then there are the other areas. The situations and issues in my life that I hold onto too tightly. The circumstances and things that are harder to give up, even when He is trying to give me His best. Isn't it amazing how God uses our children to reveal our own character, our own sin, and our own need for repentence? I pray that just as Myers learns the importance of allowing us to protect him, I will remember to allow God to protect me.