Around here and in heaven

As usual, things are busy around here. The beautiful weather has given us all spring fever. We went to the park this week (twice), rode bikes, lived outside. I could so deal with a constant 80 degrees. Everyday. Year round.
I am planning baby boy's first birthday bash. I cannot believe that sweet little guy is 2 weeks shy of 1. Pure craziness. He is growing so fast. Quickly leaving the baby stage. Heading full steam ahead into the toddler world. Just tonight I reached my hands down to pick him up and instead he gave me five. He is taking 4-5 steps alone trying so hard to walk like his big brothers. How do they go from teeny tiny infants to high-five-giving little kids in the blink of an eye?
The big boys are full of energy themselves. Myers' favorite thing to tell me is, "Mommy, look at me with your eyes." Whether I am doing some important (taking care of his baby brother) or not so much (playing on pinterest), Myers wants my undivided attention. It makes me giggle everytime he says it, but it also make me think. He deserves my attention. All of it as much possible. They all do. They need to know that no matter how many things I have to do, I always have time for them.
Manning is himself. Always asking questions. Big, deep, thought-provoking, mommy doesn't know the answer, questions. Just this morning he asked me, "What do we land on when we fall down in heaven?" I, of course, have absolutely no idea. He responds, "I think it is grass." Oh, yeah. You might be right. Why do you think that though? "Because no one cries there and it doesn't hurt when you fall on grass."

 "And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God.  And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:3-4


When I think of heaven I can't help but think of my momma. She died right after my 24th birthday. She was sick for 6 1/2 years. From her diagnosis to the morning she passed away. She battled cancer one quarter of our time together. My most recent and vivid memories of her are watching her fight. Watching her struggle. Watching her suffer. And ultimately watching her die.
Therefore, it makes my heart so happy to think of her now. Whole. Healthy. No pain. No tears. I know she can't see the terrible things that happen on earth. I praise Jesus for heaven. A place of eternal joy separated from the ugliness and heartache that define our world. However, I pray that my momma can see my boys, can hear their laughter. I pray she got to hold them close before they were given to me. I pray she knows how grateful I am for her. I am the mother I am today beacause of her.

Be still

"Life is a Highway" is Manning's favorite song EVER.  It is hilarious to hear him sing it. Loud. Usually half the wrong words. Absolutely precious.
Today was Manning's day. I was flipping through radio channels as we drove home from school and his beloved tune came on. He was so excited! But during the entire first verse he pleaded with me to play it again when it went off this time. I tried to explain that we were listening to the radio not a CD; therefore, I could not replay the song. He reminded me that we do, indeed, have a CD with this song on it. I reminded him that we were almost at our house and we could listen to it later. It kept on. Finally, I said, "Manning, just enjoy it now."
He was missing out on enjoying his favorite song of all time (imagine a 4 year old's enthusiasm) simply because he was worrying about when he would get to hear it again. He was so focused on what was happening next that he couldn't appreciate the moment.
As soon as the words escaped my lips, I mentally froze. God had me in His grip. He (again) was using my babies to teach me. How many times do I waste opportunities today because I am too busy planning tomorrow?
We want to graduate college, we want to get married, then buy house, and have kids. It is the natural progression of life. But sometimes, I fear, we don't enjoy the right now enough because we are too busy "longing" for the next stage. Time flies. It seems like only yesterday we were bringing McCann home from the hospital. But that warm, February day was 11 months ago. My newborn is almost a toddler.
I am praying that this year I will be aware of capturing these days, holding onto my babies, being peaceful right where I am. It won't be like this for long. In a blink of an eye, our babies will be grown and we will miss these days of little sleep, constant loudness, and arguing siblings.
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10