Baby dolls and Stubborn hearts

Have you ever see this kind of baby doll? They are called "water babies" and are made to feel like real babies. They are made with a plug in their back and come with a funnel to help siphon the water. (And instructions to change out the water. Whoops.)  Ruby got one for her first birthday. I was shocked to see they still made them. I vividly remember begging for one for Christmas when I was 7 years old. I also distinctly recall watching my momma struggle to fill that baby doll Christmas morning 26 years ago. I now feel her pain. You see it's really easy at first because the water flows into the baby's belly. Then you realize you have to work to get it to fill the baby's extremities. The plastic is inflexible and unbendable. It's quite a task to fill her up adequately. Ruby's doll may, in fact, be only partially filled. Her mom is clearly not as determined as mine was.

Sometimes I feel like that's how I am when I pray and ask His spirit to fill me. Inflexible and unbendable. I cry out to God begging him to make me more like Christ and he does. I feel His power transforming me but then there are those parts that I hold too close. The places in me that are inflexible and unbendable. I easily allow God to change, mold, and fill the majority of me. But what about the rest of me? Like Ruby's baby's limp arms and legs are the areas in my life that I try to control. Yet really- they control me.

I can readily identify these areas where I need more Jesus and less Amy. My pride. My worry. My doubt.

Satan wants to consume our minds. He wants to gain control over our thoughts. He wants me to believe I should care how the world views me, overthink and agonize over the what-ifs of life, and question whether I will ever be enough.

I am so thankful I serve a God who is bigger than unbendable plastic and stubborn hearts. A Savior who can enter and transform even the deepest most selfish parts of me. All we have to do is ask and soften those areas. It's difficult to change. To be humble and not prideful. To trust and not worry. To find your identity in the God of the universe and not social media. He wants our everything, not just the things we prefer to hand over. All of us. Every ounce. Every thought.

"... In that day it will be said to Jerusalem: "Do not be afraid, O Zion; Do not let your hands fall LIMP. The Lord your God is in your midst. A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy. He will be quiet in His love. He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy." Zephaniah 3:17

She's one!

18 pounds.
28 inches.
6 teeth.
8 words spoken.
3 brothers in complete love.
375 days old. (Because I am ten days late.)
Our sweet daughter is one.
The months pass so quickly. It amazes me that this busy little girl has been with us a year already. She is a delight. She smiles easily, giggles constantly, and brings so much joy to our world. Peek-a-boo, chasing daddy, emptying cabinets, and playing with her brothers' toys are her favorites. She loves to be held and I find myself carrying her all the time. She is a blessing and we are so thankful for the gift of her.

 Our precious Ruby.

 

 

 

 

 

Acts 1:8

The boys have this toy. It's a clear ball with a smaller marble-like ball inside. The goal is to move the bigger ball in just the right way to get the tiny ball to land and stay in this little groove. It's seems next to impossible to me. Maybe because I have zero patience for things like that but for my deeply thoughtful, puzzle-loving Myers, it's a challenge.

Today, he did it. He got the tiny ball to sit perfectly in the groove. He cupped it in his hands and carefully brought it to me to show me his achievement. He was so proud and so afraid to move it for fear it would mess up. He said, "I am going to hold it just like this forever."

I feel God's familiar tap. Teachable Gospel moment, Momma. Do what I have you here to do.

I explain how happy I know he is for finally getting it to work and how I understand his desire to keep it to himself. Then I continued, "But Myers, if you keep it and don't play with it anymore; the toy loses it's purpose. It is supposed to be played with and enjoyed. It's just like God's word. It is so wonderful when we have it hidden in our heart but if we never tell anyone about His love- we don't do what we were created to do either. We were sent to earth to tell others about Jesus."

He nodded and shook the toy enough to make the tiny ball fall. For a moment, I feared that he may be upset with me if he could never do it again. And then in an instant the ball landed right back in the groove. Almost like it belonged there. Much like God's word should remain in our hearts even when life shakes us up.

It continually amazes me to see how God uses my children to bring truth and light into the world. 

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth. Acts 1:8

They make me laugh

Everyone wears goggles inside.

 

My kids are the most hilarious little people. Kevin and I are constantly laughing at the funny things they say and do. Here's a short list of the ridiculously amusing things we see and hear on a daily basis:
1. When Myers was a tiny thing, Kevin started to change his diaper not knowing he had a dirty diaper. Myers stopped him commenting, "You might want to wear gloves, Daddy." First clue that it was time to potty train.

2. Manning was telling Kevin about the Christmas story. He said it was about "Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the Wise GUYS."

3. Manning got his jacket stuck in my car door the other day. I told him it was fine and not to get upset. He responded with, "You don't even know what FINE is!"

4. Myers asked me why his Mimi and Papa (Kevin's parents) never had any children.

5. After the tooth fairy came the first time Manning lost a tooth, Myers came to me (barely 4 at the time) and said, "Momma, there is no such thing as a fairy that comes and takes your teeth!"

6. I hit curbs. A Lot. Yesterday, Manning commented, "They should make cars that automatically stay on the road when you turn."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ages and phases

I will blog more. I WILL blog more. I will BLOG more. I will blog MORE.

I say it at the beginning of every year and with each year it seems I blog even less. This world of mine is full. There is always something to fold, someone to hold, something to clean, someone to feed. Everyday is busy, even when we don't leave the house. But I am so thankful. I would not have it any other way. I love staying home with these little ones.

Nevertheless, I know one day I will regret not recording these moments. For one, in 2015, I hope to blog about each of my baby's births. I also plan to write about Ruby Kate's allergy and the influence that had on our lives. Big things that changed our lives. Details that I want to remember forever.

A good friend asked me the other day which age was my favorite.

All of them.

There are so many good things about every age we have encountered so far. I already miss the cuddly, sleepy, infant stage. I think I could have 20 babies and still have that ache for a tiny little one.
(Yes,  I would like a couple more. No, not 20.)

But I love the almost one year old phase too. Ruby Kate is so much fun. She is into everything. Trying so hard to catch up with her big brothers. She already says 5 words, more than any of our boys when they were this age. (That whole deal about females speaking way more words a day than males may actually be true!) She loves me so much. The feeling is mutual. I absolutely adore her and I love that (for now) I am her favorite. She is a bright ray of sunshine in our lives.

The toddler age rocks too. A mix of baby and child. Innocence merging with awareness. McCann is almost 3. He is quiet around strangers but LOUD at home. He is hilarious. He makes us laugh til we cry.  In the last 6 months, his vocabulary has increased exponentially. He says the most heartfelt prayers that will bring tears to your eyes. There are moments when he seems like such a little boy. Then he crawls in my lap with his blanket and I am reminded that he is still so small. I am so thankful that he still wants me to hold him.

Preschoolers will blow your mind. Myers is 4. Well, 4 and 1/2 but who is counting? He is. This age completely astounds me. The things they can learn in a few short years is amazing. 5 years ago, he was in my belly. Now, he knows all his continents. I honestly believe he is probably more intelligent than me. He says things that are deeply thought provoking. He is logical to the core. Of all the kids, he looks the most like me. He has deep, prominent dimples that are a wonderful reflection of my momma. When he smiles, I see her.

Then there is my school aged, Manning. My overachieving, so much like his momma, first born. He is so ambitious. He loves to learn and he wants everyone to like him. He hates the thought of others hurting. He is maturing so quickly. I love our talks and that we share a silly sense of humor. He gets me. He sees the stress in my eyes and hears worry in my voice when the others never pick up on it. He loves his baby sister and is so incredibly good with her. One day a while back, he accidently let her fall out of our recliner. He cried worse than she did. He has a heart of gold.

As much as I would like to freeze time and keep my babies at these precious stages. I can't wait to see what they become. I pray for their health, their safety, their future spouses, but mostly for their salvation. I pray they become men and women who love Jesus and live their lives in service to HIM.

9 months old....

It was 90 degrees outside the last time I blogged. The month we said goodbye to our first house and hello to neighborhood life. Moving is seriously hard work. Physically and emotionally. I have come to terms with the fact that we may never completely unpack. There are things that I have no room for in our house, yet I cannot bring myself to throw away.
The babes are growing up before my eyes. I can't believe Manning is halfway through the first grade. Or that today Ruby Kate is 9 months old.

Time passes so quickly in the world of babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and children. This is the first time we have had a child in each stage. God is teaching us a lot in this season. We do not have all the answers. We must cry out to Him and constantly seek His instruction as we parent these four.

"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:12-13

They make me laugh. They bring me to tears. They teach me every single day. Our lives are so full.
Thank you, Jesus, for these precious treasures.

Happy 9 months, Ruby Kate! We love you so much and praise God for you!

 

Bachelor Pad Goodbyes

I heard the song "Strawberry Wine" on the radio the other day and was amazed when I realized I remembered every line. I did a little research and realized that this song was released in August 1996. 18 years ago. I can vividly recall singing "I still remember when 30 was old." At 14, thirty sounded ancient. If only I knew then what I know now. For starters, 30 is not old.
Time passes so quickly. Days fly by and years go by in the blink of an eye. Kevin built our house 11 years ago as his bachelor pad. I am sure God chuckled at Kevin's plan when he allowed us to meet the following year.  We married two years after the creation of the "bachelor pad." Together we have been here a little over 9 years. We have brought 4 of the most precious blessings home here. This house has watched 1 single man become a family of 6.
And tonight we sleep here for the last time.
We officially move into our new house tomorrow.
Excitement and sadness mingle as we close this chapter and begin a new journey.  Tomorrow we focus on getting settled in the new house that holds our future. But today we hold tightly to the past. Thank you little house in the country for all the sweet memories.