Red Lipstick

 

 

My momma always wore her make-up. She was an "eye-liner and bright lipstick" kinda lady. I used to tease with her, telling her she put on her face to check the mail. In fact, Dr. Pavy and his staff (her oncologist) routinely commented that, "If Mrs. Ruby didn't have her make-up on, she was REALLY feeling bad." Stage 4 cancer will do that. However, even in the last few weeks of her life, I remember watching her apply that famous eyeliner with her shaking hand and skeleton thin arm. It probably seemed ridiculous to some, but it was important to her. And it gave me comfort. I was losing her day by day, but seeing her worry with her make-up gave me a familiar glimpse of the woman she used to be.....Back when she wasn't sick and cancer seemed like a foreign concept.... Before we knew first-hand the ravaging effects of chemo and radiation. 

 

When mom was alive, digital cameras were not the norm. We took an entire roll of film, got the whole thing developed, and were forced to deal with any "unkind" pictures of ourselves. Where was the delete button? Ten years ago, we were forced to have paper copies of our double chins, bad hair, and closed eyes. Well, either mom did a fabulous job throwing out every "unprepared" picture of herself or she really was remarkable at her make-up regimen. (Like I remember.) I searched through hundreds of pictures today and found very few of momma without her signature bright lips and lined eyes.

 

In so many ways, I am turning into my mother. With every year that passes, I look and sound more her. Growing up, I promised myself that I would wear make-up like her when I was an "adult.". 31 years and 3.5 kids later, I probably qualify. I am avoiding sunburns, fighting wrinkles, and coloring gray hairs. I didn't get mom's olive, thick, skin (Thanks, dad) and already have more lines on my face than she did when she died at age 51. It's time to face the music. It's time break out the red lipstick.

So if you see me looking like I belong in the circus (or the side show), just smile and know that I living up to a legacy...... and I have some big shoes to fill.

 

 

Boogers and Bananas

Boogers or Bananas. That's what Kevin thinks I should rename my blog. Smallest boy loves bananas. Seriously, he can eat muliple bananas everyday and he goes nuts everytime we pass them in the grocery store. So, at least once a day Kevin or I ask, "What's that on the baby's face?" The response is always the same. "It's either boogers or bananas."

We spent last week at the beach. 8 days of bliss. It was the best vacation ever. Seriously, it was absolutely perfect weather, the boys played outside all day everyday, and we had sweet friends to hang out with all week. Of course, with three little boys under five there is chaos. Always. We find calm in that chaos though. It is our norm. One day we went on the beach late in the evening. There were only a handful of other people out. As we walked  I was overwhelmed with the blessing of my family. This man, God gave me, is my rock and these sons of ours bring us joy every single day. They are my biggest ministry. My personal mission is to teach my children the love of Christ and the power of the cross. There are so many things that need my attention. So many things that demand my time and energy. However, no matter what gets left by the wayside or dropped off my too full plate- teaching them about Jesus' love for them will come first. Though I try my best to be exactly what God has called me to be for my boys.  I fail everyday. I get caught up in the meaningless, trivial, yet time-consuming things in our world.  God forgives me and He teaches me that even in my weakness He can be glorified. It is amazing how often the Lord uses my little men to show me his love and power.

Myers was a quiet 1 year old. He never said much and when he did it was only a few words. This shocked us especially coming after motormouth  Manning. As a baby and toddler, Myers was always more reserved, more cautious, more wary of strangers. Then, he turned two. The gate was opened and we have not had a moment of silence in the last year. He is the most talkative kid EVER. It is non-stop questions. "Momma, why you doing that?" "How you going to do it?" "Momma, how come you did it that way?" It's endless. I find it endearing and comical. God makes us mommas especially immune to nuisances of our own children.
His favorite place to ask questions is in the car. Usually I can respond right away and we can move on. However, the other day, the interrogation started and I was trying to pull into a gas station. Manuevering between traffic in the Wal-mart parking lot is not the time to be put in the hot seat. So I failed. I did not answer him in a timely manner. I was concentrating and just could not focus on his relentless questions. Patience is not his (or my) strong point. So after 92 unanswered questions, he yells, "Momma, answer me right now!"

I had to hide my laughter. I had to look away as I explained how he needed to be respectful. I could not help but think about where he got his persistence from me. ME!!! Right now, I have so many questions and I feel like I am constantly asking God for answers. That day, Myers helped me see how much I still have to learn. Just like I only answer Myers when I know the time is right- God only answers our prayers in His perfect timing. I pray that I will have patience as I wait on the answers that will shape our future.

Tough Questions

8 months pregnant with Manning

If you live in Florence and have driven through the stoplight at the intersection of Irby and 2nd Loop, you have no doubt seen the sweet elderly couple that walks the sidewalk beside Hardees. They wear babydolls strapped to their chest, push strollers filled with life-like dolls, and carry signs that read,"Stop Abortion Now." I always smile and nod when I see them. I assume judging by the sheer number of carseats in my van they can see that I share their beliefs. I am not certain as to the effectiveness of their method, but at least they are doing SOMETHING!

8 months pregnant with Myers

Last week was like any other, however, this time my boys were with me and I know my boys. I see the couple, I hold my breath as we sit in the center lane. Maybe they won't notice them since there is another lane of cars separating us. No chance. From the very back seat I hear, "Momma, why are those people carrying baby dolls?" I take a deep "Help me, Jesus" sigh and in the most pre-school manner explained to my 3 and 4 year old what abortion is. They were silent in disbelief. As the light changed and we drove off, Manning questioned, "Momma, people do that in our world?"
I answered: "Yes, baby. They do it in our world and even in our town."
Again, my response was met with silence. They are so innocent. I hate exposing them to the sin in the world. However, I can't lie and hide the truth.
We continued towards home and I prayed they would move on to a new topic. Nope.
Manning comments: "I am glad you didn't do that [have an abortion.] Because I would be dead now."
I blinked back tears and responded, "Sweetheart, I would have Never done that. First of all, the Bibe tells us that abortion is murder and murder is ALWAYS wrong. Secondly, Daddy and I wanted you and your brothers with every ounce of our beings."
Myers finally speaks up, "When people die they go to heaven." Things keep getting deeper and I am beginning to wonder if I should have changed the subject when they started the questioning. Then Manning said something that made all the uneasiness of this conversation worthwhile, "I don't think people who have abortions have a Bible. I think we should give them all one." With gooscbumps, I answered,
"You are right. So very right."
Thank you, God, for these sweet boys and their understanding and desire for YOU. I pray that as they inevidently see more sin in this world, they will meet it with the same faith.

7 months pregnant with McCann

Two posts in one week....

God sure uses these little people in my world to teach me things. Myers turned 3 on April 14th and he is officially a "big boy." He demands independence and prefers to do everything himself. Kevin and I are learning to allow him to master the majority of things on his own. However, he still needs guidance. He needs our help and our supervison. 99% of the time he is willing to let us assist him. He brushes his teeth and then we help. He dresses himself and then we tie his shoes. Then there is the 1% of the time that he absolutely does not want our help. This tiny portion of time ALWAYS occurs in the car getting into his seat. He so badly wants to buckle himself into his carseat without any guidance from us. At three, he doesn't understand the ramfications of not being fastened correctly. We do and we want him to be as safe as possible. Enter 29 pounds of  fury. Legs kicking, arms swatting, screaming, yelling, crying. All just because we want what's best for him.
Today, as I battled the beast of  Myers and the carseat. God got my attention. "Amy, do you not act the exact same way in your own life?" I know I need God's direction and I know He is in control. He is the Alpha and Omega, beginning and end. He knows and wants what is best for me. I am completely aware of this and in most areas I readily relinquish control to Him. Then there are the other areas. The situations and issues in my life that I hold onto too tightly. The circumstances and things that are harder to give up, even when He is trying to give me His best. Isn't it amazing how God uses our children to reveal our own character, our own sin, and our own need for repentence? I pray that just as Myers learns the importance of allowing us to protect him, I will remember to allow God to protect me.

Do you know that feeling you get when your stomach is tied up in knots? When you are absolutely positive the cause is emotional, not physical. That queasiness that we associate with anticipation, anxiety, and excitement. I get it every single time I run a race. From the minute I get there- to the time the race begins. I get the same feeling every time I ride a roller coaster. Those endless minutes of standing in line watching, listening, and counting how many seconds the ride takes. (Does anyone else do this?) I  have probably experienced this feeling most intensely the nights before the births of each of my boys. That familiar tug that holds me in its grip. For a little while at least. Just as quickly as the uneasiness begins, it ends. The horn sounds and I feel freedom with each stride. The ride starts and I get lost in the thrill. The sweet babies enter the world and love overcomes.

The feeling itself is not comfortable but there is a peace in knowing the outcome. I have ran handfuls of races, ridden countless coasters, and birthed three boys. I know how this all  should work. I know that with the release comes the unknown terrain, the unexpected drops, and pain of new life. However, I know that in the end it will be worth it.. The pain and unfamiliar territory is replaced with satisfaction and relief. I cross the finish line in one piece (so far), the ride ends with me still on it (I always worry about falling out), and the doctors hand me a precious baby boy (Thank you, Jesus.)  Just as I know the trials that precede the joy, oh how I know the contentment once I am on the other side.

Right now in this journey of life, it would be incredibly easy to be in a constant state of anxiety. It is a daily decision to put those jitters aside. We are entering a whole new world, leaving behind familiar ground. Our house is on the market and we do not know what the next few months will bring. We don't know where we will live or where Kevin will work if we move. We do not know where the boys will go to school. The list of questions with no answers stretches as far as I can think. But just as I find hope in the knowledge that races, roller coasters, and child birth eventually come to an end. This period will too. Just as I cry out to God during that last mile when my mind is telling me to quit and that last push when I am begging for a c-section, I will call to Him again. I will have faith. I will trust in His plan and His provision. I am so thankful to serve a God who loves me and offers me perfect peace. Contentment in the here and now.

Whew...a busy April!

It's been so long since I've blogged it's hard to know where to begin. I have written at least five blogs in my head over the last few weeks. But things are busy. Days pass quickly with little time to sit down and collect my thoughts. Much less type them all out into coherent thoughts. Heck, these aren't even complete sentences. (Which absolutely drives the English teacher inside of me crazy.) However, since I have not actually taught 9th-12th grade Language Arts one single time since being certified I don't guess I should be too concerned. My preschoolers do not hold me to high standards when it comes to being grammatically correct.
We spent last week in Disney. 4, 2, and 1. Almost 5, almost 3, and just turned 1. The ages of our boys. I bet I said it 20 times in 4 days as people looked at our boys and asked how close they were in age. It was a wonderful, busy, tiresome week. The Hatchell family does not merely go to Disney. We attack it. We prepare for battle as we plan out each day, pack lunches, and conquer the crazy Mickey world with our tiny short army. We have this mentality that since we paid so much for this vacation, we MUST do everything. We must ride every ride, see every show, meet every character. We are "those" people in Disney World. Nevertheless, it was an absolute joy to see our boys dreams comes true. Wow, that sounds corny. It's true though. At 4 and 2, their biggest dreams were meeting Lightning McQueen and Buzz Lightyear. Score. I know they won't remember this trip. Kevin and I will though. Their excitement and joy was worth it all.

Life did not slow down when we returned home. Disney was a great preparation for the month of April for us. Manning, Myers, and Kevin are playing t-ball/softball right now. At different ball parks. 4 nights of the weeks are spent chasing McCann around a ball field cheering for my loves as they play their beloved sport.

Not only are my boys busy but I am running full speed ahead too. The runt of our litter (in stature, not age or ability) is having a birthday. Our Myers will be 3 on Sunday and we are celebrating with a "farmer" party on Saturday. This is all he wanted. All he would even consider. Farmer party or bust. So I am currently surrounded with farm animal decor praying for no rain as we have planned hay and pony rides. Craziness. To add it, I went from an all-time low of teaching 1 aerobics class a week the month of March to teaching 4 classes a week in April.  If that's not enough, couple it with the fact that it is VBS time. This is not an official time for anyone outside of me and my sweet co-director. However, for us the next 2 months will be spent meticulously planning VBS. Not because the job itself is so difficult, more so because of our perfectionist tendencies. Seriously, there are some things that are proven to bring people to the Lord. VBS is one of those. It teaches our children about Jesus, it glorifies our Father, and it promotes a fellowship among believers as we work toward a common goal. I believe in VBS and I want to work hard to make sure we are doing it the way God indeeds for it to be.  

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." Colossians 3:23-24

Calvary Baptist Church will have our VBS June 24th-28th from 5:30-8:45pm. Please send your kids, tell your friends, and help us spread the word.

Every year

 Today and every year, I thank God for sending HIS son to pay the ultimate price and die for my sins. I am so grateful for a risen Savior.The sadness of Good Friday is replaced with the glorious promise of Easter Sunday. The resurrection of Christ gives us hope and a future.

As always, I remember this same morning 7 years ago. It was 1am, the room was dark, and my momma was taking her last breath. While on this earth, I will never again hear her voice, see her smile, or feel her warmth. Just as this brings great sadness, there is also joy. I know my precious momma is at Jesus' feet. She is partying with the King and there can be no greater place than heaven on Easter Sunday.

"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." 1 Peter 2:24

If you are not 100% sure that you will be in heaven with Jesus and my momma when you die. Please make it right. Say the prayer, invite Jesus into your heart, ask for forgiveness, and live for HIM. You can have confidence and assurance of where you will spend eternity. It burdens my heart that there are people all around me that may not be certain of their salvation. There is no better time than Good Friday to express your desire to His child.